Are you living life, or merely surviving life
Local Women columnist and Executive Business Coach Joanna Denton on how to stop merely existing and start living the life you want.
Hi there,
Have you ever got to the end of the week and realised that you barely got out alive?!!!
Sure, you did the things, went to the meetings, solved the problems, sent out the emails, ferried the kids, did the cooking, got the shopping in …
But let’s face it – it’s not like you were really there for any of it …
Swept along on the white-water rapids of your life …
Life happening to you, not through you …
Amiright?
Because, yes, maybe you have spent decades building a life that looks impressive on paper – that looks like you got everything together – but behind closed doors, the question no one actually dares to ask:
What the flip just happened?
One of my clients joined my mastermind, among other reasons, because someone had said to her:
“You seem to be very good at surviving life, but are you actually living it?”
That question hit her like a freight train. Because for the first time, she saw it – she was simply getting through life, not truly living it.
And she’s not alone.
So many successful women are running their lives like an endless to-do list.
Everything gets done. Course it does … like have they met you?
And yet… where are you in all of this?
This month, we’re talking about:
- The difference between merely surviving and truly living (like, do I really need to spell it out to you?)
- Why so many high achievers stay stuck in survival mode
- A simple way to shift — without overhauling your life
Let’s break this down.
THREE WAYS TO SHIFT FROM SURVIVING TO LIVING WITHOUT WAITING FOR A HOLIDAY
Listen up – if you’re waiting for life to magically slow down, I hate to break it to you – it probably isn’t going to any time soon.
AND all is not lost …
You don’t need a retreat in Bali to start feeling like you’re actually in your life instead of just running it.
What you need is a few key shifts – ones that actually work, even if your schedule is full.
1. Recognise Survival Mode for What It Is
Survival mode tricks you into thinking you don’t have a choice. It keeps you on autopilot, jumping from one thing to the next.
If your week feels like:
• Rushing from task to task with no real breaks
• Feeling constantly needed but rarely fulfilled
• Getting to the end of the day and realising you haven’t felt anything
…you’re probably in survival mode. The first step is recognising it.
When you catch yourself in it, stop and ask:
What would living look like right now?
2. Stop Waiting for Permission
A lot of high-achieving women still feel like they need to earn rest, joy, or time for themselves.
But, and I want you to hear this – you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
Now, one more time for the wee ones in the back. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Your life doesn’t start when you’ve done enough. You already are enough.
If you’re stuck in the cycle of “just one more thing” before you can finally breathe, remind yourself: I don’t need to prove I deserve this. I already do.
3. Ask Yourself: What’s One Thing You’d Like to Do for Yourself?
I’m not here to give you another morning routine or tell you to meditate if sitting still makes you want to climb the walls.
I am here to ask you this:
What’s one thing you’d like to do for yourself?
Not something you should do. Not something that’s productive.
Something that feels good. Just because you can.
Maybe it’s something you stopped doing because life got too busy.
Maybe it’s something you’ve always wanted to try.
Whatever it is – you don’t need to prove that you deserve it. You already do.
JOURNALING PROMPTS
By now you know – I’m a big – and I mean BIG – fan of journaling. Taking time to reflect is one of the fastest ways to shift your perspective. Here are five questions to explore:
• How do I know when I’m in survival mode? What are the signs?
• What’s one thing I’ve stopped doing for myself that I used to love?
• If I were truly living today, what’s one thing I’d do differently?
• What would change if I believed I had permission to put myself first?
• What’s a small way I could experience joy or presence this week?
Write them down. See what comes up. And go do it.
THAT’S IT. HERE’S WHAT I TALKED ABOUT TODAY:
Survival mode keeps you stuck on autopilot – recognising it is the first step.
You don’t need permission to prioritise yourself — you already deserve it.
Choosing one thing for yourself is a powerful step toward actually living.
You don’t have to burn your life down to start living it. You just have to choose yourself – even in small ways.
JD SPEAKING AND STRATEGY LTD.
RIVER HOUSE, 48-60 HIGH STREET, BELFAST, BT1 2BE
TEL: +44 (0)7790585297 | EMAIL: JOANNA@JOANNADENTON.COM | WWW.JOANNADENTON.COM
