Why “I’m Fine” Could Be Your Most Expensive Lie

Executive Business Coach Joanna Denton knows that saying nothing is costing you more than you think – and she’s here to tell you how to change that.

The Hidden Cost of “I’m Fine”

If you think asking for help makes you weak, you’re running the most expensive business – and life – strategy there is.

Most women pride themselves on being the ones who get it done. The safe pair of hands. The problem-solvers. The fixers. And because we’re that person, we tell ourselves to just suck it up, smile, and say, “I’m fine.” Even when we’re not.

The truth is, “I’m fine” can be the costliest phrase you’ll ever use. Not just for your career or business, but for your health, happiness, and future.

The Day I Realised

In March 2014, I was at the top of my career: Director at PwC Luxembourg. Speaking on stages around the world. Known in my field as the go-to expert. And I was also falling apart.

I was in my second burnout in five years – unshowered, unable to get dressed, unwilling to go outside.

Then I learned a colleague, Peter, had died suddenly at age 67. His memorial revealed it was suicide.

Peter had spent the weekend laughing with friends. On Monday he jumped from a bridge. His friends had no idea. No one did.

At the funeral I realised – I’d been doing exactly what Peter had done. No suicidal thoughts, but the same belief that my friends wouldn’t want to be bothered. That I had to carry it alone.

That day I picked up the phone and asked for help. Twice. That choice – one call after another – saved my life.

It taught me that asking for help might feel risky, but it’s worth it. It can be the difference between collapse and a second chance.

Why It’s So Hard to Ask

“I need help.” Three little words. But they’re loaded with meaning.

• If I ask, I’m weak.
• If I ask, I could be rejected.
• If I ask, I’m a bother.

We attach shame to the smallest requests, from food preferences to business support. If we can feel resistance in ordering milk at breakfast, no wonder we struggle to ask for help with the big stuff.

The Business Return on Asking for Help

Not asking costs more than you realise. It keeps you small. It convinces you to struggle alone. And it sabotages your success.

But when you ask, you unlock huge returns:

1. Energy – You free up time and space for what only you can do. Less firefighting, more focus.
2. Resilience – You protect yourself from burnout and stay in the game for the long term.
3. Growth – You gain access to skills, ideas, and networks you’d never build alone.

I’ve seen it in my own life: mentors helping me refine speeches, clients advocating for me, and emotional support that helped me keep serving my own clients.

Try This

Here are three questions to shift you out of “I’m fine” and into forward motion:

• What do I need help with right now?
• Who could help me?
• What story am I telling myself that stops me from asking – and is it true?

Then take one step today. Ask for an introduction, a quick call, or feedback. Small steps count.

Here’s the Truth

There are people who would have been there for Peter – but didn’t know he needed it.

I almost went the same way.

You are not broken. You are not weak.

You are supported.

Asking for help isn’t weakness. It’s a growth strategy – for your business, for your wellbeing, for your life.

📍 Joanna Denton – Executive Business Coach
JD Speaking and Strategy Ltd.
River House, 48–60 High Street, Belfast, BT1 2BE
📞 Tel: +44 (0)7795085297
📧 Email: joanna@joannadenton.com
🌐 www.joannadenton.com