CONFIDENCE: IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS

Local Women columnist and confidence coach Sonya McAleer is here to lead you on a journey of empowerment, helping you to show up as your truest, most confident self.

I used to think confidence was the loudest person in the room. The one who always knew what to say, wore the perfect outfit, and never seemed to stumble. I thought confidence was having all the answers—being unshakable.

I chased that idea for years, pushing myself harder, hiding the softer sides of me, and believing that if I worked long enough or tried hard enough, I would finally arrive. But that’s the thing about chasing—what we’re running after is often the very thing we need to stop and discover within ourselves.

It took years for me to realise that confidence isn’t about perfection. It’s not a mask you put on for the world—it’s how you see yourself when no one’s watching. True confidence comes from knowing who you are, the values that guide you, and the courage to show up, flaws and all.

So how do you begin?

Here are three simple ways to start reconnecting with yourself and growing your confidence:

1. Ask Yourself Honest Questions
   Confidence starts with self-awareness. Take a moment and ask yourself:
   • What are the values I hold closest to my heart?
   • What parts of myself do I hide, and why?
   • When do I feel most at ease with who I am?
     Write down your answers without judgment. Getting to know yourself is the foundation of building unshakable confidence.
2. Do One Small Brave Thing Every Day
   Confidence isn’t built in a day—it’s built through small, consistent choices that stretch us.
   • Speak up in a meeting.
   • Say no to something that doesn’t feel right.
   • Try something new, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Every time you take action, you’re proving to yourself that you can trust yourself. And that trust? That’s confidence.

3. Find a Supportive Space
   Confidence doesn’t grow in isolation. Surround yourself with people who see you, celebrate you, and challenge you to step into your light.

This is why I created the Inner Circle—a space for women to find themselves again, to reconnect to their confidence, and to discover their voice.

Because we all deserve a safe place to lean into growth, without judgment or pressure.

I know what it feels like to lose yourself. To feel like you’re playing a part in someone else’s story, hoping it will feel right someday. But confidence isn’t about becoming someone else—it’s about coming home to who you already are.

So, let me ask you:

• What’s one brave choice you can make for yourself today?
• What story will you choose to tell about who you are and what you’re capable of?

The journey back to yourself doesn’t need to be lonely. Let’s do it together.

Confidence isn’t loud. It’s quiet, it’s steady, and it starts with you.

I hope you’ll join us in the Inner Circle—where women like you are stepping back into themselves and showing up as their truest, most confident selves.

Your journey starts now.