Deirdre’s incredible journey to happiness
Newcastle’s Deirdre Maguire is known world-wide as the woman who “helps people get happier” – here she tells Local Women about the long journey of healing that started with herself.
“I’m very good at what I do – because my first client was my toughest – me!” says Co Down woman Deirdre Maguire.
And with a lifetime of experiences behind her and her share of heartaches, dramas, highs, and lows – Deirdre says she has the proof you can change your own life if you have the right tools – because she is the proof!
The Newcastle-based life coach has an impressive resume. Deirdre, 68, is a world-class mind wellness specialist, mentor, speaker, author and creator of The Stress Solution System – but rather modestly, she says her main job is “helping people get happier.”
She has an astonishing success rate working with people, who, for all kinds of reasons, feel stuck, trapped and caught. She enables them to move on and lead happy and fulfilled lives.
But to be able to do this and achieve the level of success she has, Deirdre had to start with herself. Making the changes that took her from a confused, insecure, and anxious young woman to the poised, in control and elegant woman she is now was an incredible journey with many twists and turns along the way.
Deirdre’s life has seen her dealing with the fallout from alcohol abuse, co-dependency, heartbreak, cancer and tragically suicide.
And today using her signature Stress Solution System, the consolidation of everything she has mastered, Deirdre helps people, release the past, and free themselves to create the results they want in their lives.
Deirdre says: “Finally, I know who I am, and I know that I am good at what I do. But it took me years to get to that point and to allow myself to say that out loud.
“At 68 years, I say I’ve never been older; I’ve never been fitter – ’m a proud CrossFit athlete – and I’ve never been happier. Because I know that happiness is a skill. But it wasn’t always like that …”
In fact, the story of Deirdre’s life wouldn’t be out of place in the pages of a novel.
She was born the eldest of five children in Newcastle, Co Down. Her parents were working class and had little money, but they decided to open a furniture business which they poured all their efforts into.
Deirdre describes her home life as a mixture of great joy and great pain at times. “There was a lot going on,” she says simply, and explains that her father, although both very kind and successful, also suffered from hurts from the past, which ultimately led to his use of alcohol to self soothe – and this impacted on the family.
As a child, her 11-plus success saw her leave home for boarding school because her parents wanted the best for her. But, she says, “she didn’t feel very clever ,” and often felt out of place at her new school.
“I was mixing with the well-off children. Then my parents would come on Visiting Sunday in their little beige van. They didn’t have a car. I can still remember the feeling of shame and embarrassment of that van, yet I felt confused because I was so happy to see them,” she says.
“I always felt like I wasn’t quite good enough. In school I didn’t feel clever. I remember the dreaded reports when we were all rated by place in class – I was 19th out of 20.”
These feelings continued when she repeated her A levels twice. In fact, she reckons she holds the record for the only 20-year-old in a school uniform!
“Can you imagine? It was so embarrassing,” she says. “I remember dodging all my friends, and of course, that just made the feelings of not being good enough even stronger.”
She made it to university in Coleraine and the carefree college years on the north coast were some of her happiest, as she studied for her honour’s degree in education. Summers were spent in America where she escaped the relentlessness of the Troubles.
Following university, the happy period continued, and Deirdre spent time as an air hostess for the famous Freddie Laker on Laker Airways, giving her more opportunities for travel, particularly to America which she loved.
But sadly, the demise of Laker Airways saw the end of Deirdre’s foreign travel and she returned to Northern Ireland where she says she felt quite purposeless.
By now married to a good man , none the less her own personal pain began to catch up and after seven years at the age of 38, she found herself divorced and directionless.
She says: “At this stage I was working in the family business but privately caught up in the drama of my father’s pain. The turning point of my life however was when a concerned AA member said to me – Deirdre, but what about you?’
“He was the first person who saw my pain and showed me that the real value was in thinking about myself. I took his advice and went to Al-Anon – a support group for people who have been affected by a loved one’s drinking. I began attending meetings and started my journey of healing. I learned about how co-dependent my relationship with my father was and how I couldn’t save another person. It wasn’t my job.
“If I hadn’t done that, I really don’t know how I would have coped with what came next.”
Three years after Deirdre started Al-Anon, her father, a tortured soul, went with the only option left to him and took his own life. The man she describes as her ‘hero’ was no longer able to cope and, at 72,tragically drowned.
The devastation it caused is hard to imagine and Deirdre describes this period of her life as ‘emotional numbness’ as she and her siblings helped their mother cope.
The days, weeks, and months following his death were an emotional blur for Deirdre, going from sadness to guilt but always one constant the search – the search for answers – why did her father have to die? What is the solution to unresolved emotional pain? Slowly she began to get answers. She discovered Life Coaching and to her delight, found a course in Belfast.
She attended the course and her thirst for healing and learning really began. She started to attend courses in the UK and internationally. She learned about techniques like Neuro Linguistic Programming, and Faster EFT studying under the founder American Robert G Smith. She became a Master practitioner travelling the world with him.
She worked at Habilitat, the world famous long-term residential treatment centre in Hawaii that specialises in helping people overcome substance abuse and anti-social behaviour.
She started to have great success helping others. But her skills were really put to the test when she was diagnosed with lymphoma and used everything she has learned to treat herself. She had surgery on her neck to remove cancerous cells but declined chemotherapy.
She explains: “I decided that I would strive to make peace with the cancer, to change my attitude, change my diet and continue my emotional work as I had before.”
It was only when her mother needed more care towards the end of her life, that Deirdre returned to Newcastle where she has been ever since and has helped many people in crisis.
Today Deirdre delivers corporate talks and workshops. She delivers her ‘Peaceful Powerful You’, which is her 21-day Meditation programme. She is currently launching her online ‘Stress Solution System 2.0’ programme.
And on local radio, her popular Mindset Mastery Monday slot on U105’s Phone in with Frank Mitchell is where she motivates listeners and offers a different perspective on life.
Deirdre’s philosophy is that life is for living – and she is always happy to help people achieve their goals and be happy.
She says: “People don’t need to believe the negative assumptions they have about themselves. I will challenge that. My message is one of hope. I will help you to move on from your past and stop repeating old mistakes.
“It’s never too late to be happy.”
For more information and bookings see www.deirdremaguire.com
