Don’t Hold Yourself (And others) Back!
What if your lack of confidence is holding more than just you back?
Local Women columnist and confidence coach Sonya McAleer shows you how to break the cycle of self-doubt.
Have you ever hesitated before speaking up? Doubted yourself before making a decision? Shrunk back from an opportunity because you weren’t sure you were ‘good enough’? We all have. But here’s something we don’t talk about enough – our lack of confidence doesn’t just affect us. It affects those around us.
The younger generation is watching.
The way we carry ourselves, the way we speak about our abilities, and the way we handle challenges shape how they see themselves. Confidence isn’t just something we develop for ourselves – it’s something we pass on.
The Ripple Effect of Self-Doubt
When we hold ourselves back, play small, or let fear make decisions for us, we unconsciously teach those watching us to do the same. They see hesitation as normal. They learn to second-guess their own voice. They absorb the belief that they need to ‘be more’ before they are worthy of taking up space.
Think about the role models in your life. Did you grow up seeing strong, confident people stepping forward boldly?
Or did you see hesitation, self-doubt, and playing safe? The truth is, we are either breaking the cycle or continuing it.
Just as self-doubt spreads, so does self-belief. When we choose to back ourselves, step forward, and trust our own voice, we give others permission to do the same. The younger generation picks up on this. They see it. They feel it. And they begin to carry it too.
Imagine if, instead of hearing, “I’m not sure I can,” they heard, “I’ll figure it out.” Imagine if they saw people stepping forward, even when they weren’t completely ready. Imagine if they learned that confidence isn’t about knowing everything – it’s about believing you are capable, no matter what.
Holding the Door Open For Others
True confidence isn’t just about stepping up for yourself. It’s about leading the way and creating space for others to rise too.
When we own our power, we don’t just change our own lives – we change the lives of those around us. Confidence isn’t about pushing ahead alone; it’s about turning back and holding the door open for the next generation.
Breaking the Cycle
• Catch yourself in the moment. When you hesitate or downplay yourself, ask: Would I want the younger generation to do the same? If the answer is no, change the narrative.
• Show, don’t just tell. Let them see you taking chances, stepping outside your comfort zone, backing yourself.
• Change the language. Stop saying “I’m not sure if I can” and start saying “I’ll figure it out.”
• Surround yourself with people who lift you up. The people around us shape our energy – choose wisely.
• Practice confidence daily. Confidence is a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
The next time you doubt yourself, remember – this isn’t just about you. Your confidence (or lack of it) will shape the people around you more than you realise.
So, step up, take the space you deserve, and show the next generation what it looks like to own your power.
Because if you won’t do it for you, do it for them.
Ready to step into a more confident version of yourself?
If you’re looking for a space to grow, connect, and be surrounded by like-minded women who are ready to break the cycle of self-doubt, join The Inner Circle. This is a community built to help you rise, with support, mentorship, and real conversations about confidence, resilience, and stepping into your power.
Doors are open – come take up space.
You belong here.
www.sonyamcaleer.co.uk
📱 @INNERBALANCE_SONYA
📧 EMAIL: INFO@SONYAMCALEER.CO.UK
