‘No Child Should See Their Mummy Like That’
Enniskillen mum Melanie Clarke shares her heart breaking journey with endometriosis and her hope for life-changing surgery in Italy.
By Mandi Millar
Melanie Clarke’s Facebook vlog is hard to watch – but it’s nothing compared to the excruciating pain suffered for years by the Fermanagh woman.
For despite enduring heavy, painful periods from when she was 12, the Enniskillen mum of four says she felt dismissed and gaslighted by the medical profession until she was finally diagnosed with endometriosis aged 30.
This month Melanie (36), is travelling to Italy for what she hopes will be life-changing treatment – but it’s going to cost £20,000 that the family simply doesn’t have.
Endometriosis occurs when tissue like the lining of the womb grows outside it, affecting other organs.
It can cause constant, debilitating pelvic and abdominal pain, vomiting, nerve-related pain, painful bowel and bladder symptoms and extreme fatigue. Yet it takes on average a staggering nine years and five months to get a diagnosis in Northern Ireland.
Melanie is highlighting her story to raise awareness – and funds.
“I’ve received very good treatment from staff in local hospitals and clinics but it’s the system that’s broken when it takes so long to be diagnosed. There isn’t enough knowledge or education around women’s health,” says Melanie who, since 2020, has had three surgeries for her endometriosis, the last in February this year.
However, since then this busy, active mum has been a virtual prisoner due to crippling ongoing symptoms which often leave her bedridden and unable to work.
“When I was told at one of my last appointments that my scans no longer showed endometriosis and I was suffering from chronic pain, I just broke down. I thought, I can’t do this anymore. I wouldn’t even say I was suicidal for I just felt like all the life had already left me,” says Melanie.
“I thought, something has got to be done or something bad is going to happen…
“I had a mini meltdown that day. I couldn’t even go into the house to face my children when I went home. I just locked the doors and sat in the car. I couldn’t process that there seemed to be no more help for me.”
That’s when Melanie and husband Ryan decided they’d have to go privately for treatment, inspired by the story of fellow Fermanagh woman Nadia Stenson who’d been treated by Dr Marcello Ceccaroni at the Endometriosis Surgical Specialist International (EESI) clinic in Sorrento, Italy.
Thanks to fundraisers by friends and family – as well as a loan – she’s hoping the surgery this month (September) will be life-changing because, once under the care of Dr Ceccaroni, scans did in fact reveal the recurrence of endometriosis.
Treatment at the Sorrento facility involves a multidisciplinary team so bowel, bladder and nerve issues resulting from endometriosis can all be addressed during surgery.
Melanie is set to undergo a modified radical hysterectomy which means she’ll retain her ovaries and won’t need HRT.
“It’s a lot to take on board,” says Melanie who’s been vlogging about her agonising journey on her Facebook page.
“Because of the hysterectomy often involved in treatment, there’s always a lot of talk about the fact you can’t have children afterwards, but if you’re fortunate enough to already have children, I think what they go through watching their mummy suffer often gets forgotten.
“My oldest daughter Caitlin who’s 18 showed me a video of me five years ago when I was curled up on the floor, crying in agony. She told me she kept the footage because it was just so sad…
“No child should ever have to see their mummy like that.”
You can donate to Melanie’s fundraiser at https://tinyurl.com/4mj3b9eh
