Push Back on the Push Back: How to Hold Your Boundaries Without Backing Down

Asserting boundaries sounds empowering—and it is. But when others push back, it can feel uncomfortable, even intimidating. Whether you’re standing firm in your personal life or holding space for your needs at work, resistance is often part of the process.

So how do you stay grounded when someone challenges the limits you’ve set?

Expert business coach Joanna Denton offers practical, compassionate advice for navigating those moments.

1. Recognise the Push-Back Tactics

Push-back often comes dressed as guilt trips, manipulation, sarcasm, or passive-aggressive comments. The goal? To make you feel wrong for drawing a line.

Joanna reminds us: their reactions are more about them than they are about you.

What to do:

• Stay calm and steady.
• Visualise the bigger picture.
• Remind yourself why the boundary matters.

2. Own the Fear of Being ‘The Bad One’

Sometimes, just the idea that someone might see you as difficult or selfish is enough to make you question yourself. Joanna encourages you to pause before responding. Ask:

• What’s really behind their reaction?
• Is this about their comfort or my clarity?

A simple response like “I understand that this is frustrating for you, but my decision remains the same” is enough. You’re not here to convince anyone.

3. Call in Support

Boundary-setting can be lonely. But it doesn’t have to be. Having a few trusted people to talk to can make a huge difference.

What to do:

• Share your experience with someone who understands.
• Let others affirm your decision when you’re doubting yourself.
• Lean on those who celebrate your strength—not those who try to chip away at it.

4. Put on Your Big Girl Pants (Even for 60 Seconds)

You don’t need to feel brave for hours. Sometimes you just need a minute of courage.

What to try:

• Take a breath.
• Say the thing.
• Hold the line.

As Joanna puts it: “Sometimes, all it takes is to put on your big girl pants for 60 seconds and say what needs to be said.”

5. Recharge After the Push-Back

Boundaries can take a toll. Make time to refill your tank.

Try this:

• 5 minutes of journaling on what matters most to you
• A short walk or time in nature
• A comforting treat (KitKats totally count!)

6. Reflect with Journaling

Push-back is often a great teacher. Use it.

Here are some journal prompts Joanna recommends:

• What’s the biggest boundary I’ve set recently? Why was it important?
• How do I feel when others push back against me?
• What support do I need to hold firm?
• What belief about myself is being challenged?

Final Thought:

Push-back isn’t a sign that you’re doing something wrong. Often, it’s a sign you’re finally doing something right.

Hold the line. You’re allowed to protect your time, energy, and peace.

Because, as Joanna says, “Silence is a powerful lie in the face of resistance. And self-care isn’t selfish—it’s how you stay resilient.”

Want to explore this more?

📧 Email: joanna@joannadenton.com
🌐 Website: www.joannadenton.com
📍 JD Speaking and Strategy Ltd, River House, Belfast