The Love That Never Left
In his moving memoir Meet Me at 10.30, Cookstown man Tony Quinn shares the love story he still lives every day – a bond with his late wife Joanie that even death could not end.
Mandi Millar reports.
When Cookstown mum of three Joanie Quinn died, her husband Tony lost his soulmate.
Yet when the end finally came after a long and painful illness, it was sudden.
Joanie’s last thoughts, though, were as always filled with Tony (72) and their now grown-up children Bernie (47), Christy (45) and Emily (37). Cradled in his arms, she looked into his eyes, called out his name and gently slipped away.
Almost 20 years on, Tony’s loss is as palpable today as it was then. Time alone doesn’t always heal, so now he’s publishing a book to bring hope to others in similar situations.
Meet Me at 10.30 recounts his and Joanie’s life together – from their chance meeting and whirlwind romance to the happy years that followed, and now the daily “catch-up” they still share in spirit every morning at 10.30.
It’s a book Tony began nearly two decades ago during the lonely hours after visiting Joanie in hospital.
“During Joanie’s illness she never used the word ‘died’ — she’d say ‘when I have to go away’ or ‘when I must leave’ — but she’d tell me how I should look after myself after she’d gone and give me various instructions,” recalls Tony, a retired businessman and local councillor.
“Then about three months before she passed away we were in the sitting room one night. I was listening to what she was telling me and I asked, well will you do something for me? When that does happen, what about you and me still meeting every day? Joanie looked me straight in the eye and said, what time suits you?”
They settled on 10.30, and Tony has kept that promise ever since.
“The only time I didn’t was when I had a stroke eight years ago, though I’m well recovered now, thank God. Doesn’t matter where I am. Even when I was in meetings at work I’d excuse myself, though it’s easier now I’m retired —-I can just go up to our room for a few minutes with her.”
Those moments remain sacred.
“It’s a time to think about Joanie, ask her advice, ask her to point me in the right direction. And it helps me to this day,” he says.
Tony still struggles to understand why his wife, at just 47, developed pancreatic cancer. “There were a lot of investigations before she was finally diagnosed. The day we were told, I fell to pieces but Joanie was so strong. The consultant sat us down and said, there’s no easy way to tell you this but you’ve been very unlucky – you have pancreatic cancer. We were told there was no hope and that we’d probably have about 18 months together. I still can’t understand why a woman who never drank and looked after herself had to get such a cruel disease.”
Through those months, Tony’s writing brought comfort. “It was easy to write because it brought back such happy memories,” he says, recalling how they married within a year of meeting and how Joanie managed to juggle raising three children with running Cookstown pre-school Jack and Jill.
“Joanie’s professional reputation went before her — she had to handle very sensitive family situations at times. She later worked with Women’s Aid, first part-time then full-time, helping families in crisis. She loved that job.”
When Joanie became ill, Tony thought he’d never be able to return to work as a councillor.
“I don’t even remember the day of Joanie’s funeral,” he admits. “One day I finally slipped out to the shop hoping I wouldn’t meet anyone, but I ran into a man who said, will you do something for me? I thought he was going to ask me to sort a council issue, but he said, will you get back to work? Wasn’t that just the most powerful thing to say? So powerful – and so right.”
Now, through Meet Me at 10.30, Tony hopes his story can help others find strength through loss.
“This is a book about love, loss, grief and hope. Those are four such powerful words and I hope they resonate with people,” he says.
“Och, Joanie and I were always madly in love. People sometimes tell me I should find someone else, but my answer is always the same. I’m still in love with Joanie — I always will be. What we had could never die. As far as I’m concerned, we’re only separated for a short time, and I believe we’ll meet again.”
Meet Me at 10.30 by Tony Quinn is available now at Sheehy’s, Cookstown, and online at Waterstones.com (ISBN: 9781036934934).
