Molly-Mae Hague has confessed she was unprepared for just how difficult she would find motherhood while chatting to some of her 7.5m Instagram followers.
As the most successful Love Island contestant, she can charge more than £10,000 for each sponsored post she shares on the social media platform – up from the meagre £25 she used to earn per post.
And in her role as creative director for fast fashion brand Pretty Little Thing, the highly popular influencer regularly treats her fans to aspirational posts about her life.
So, it is refreshing to hear Mollie-Mae admit that, even as a multi-millionaire who has made her fortune by publicising details of her glamorous lifestyle, the struggle for new mums is real.
In a recent Instagram Q&A, Molly-Mae, who welcomed daughter Bambi in January, was asked by a fan whether having a baby was harder than she imagined, to which she replied: “Yes. 100% yes.
“I’m not going to beat around the bush…I was not prepared. She’s completely and utterly worth it though. Every single hard moment!”
More recently, she broke down as she described how overwhelming she has found the transition from businesswoman to working mum.
Okay, okay, so Molly-Mae doesn’t have to worry about whether she can cover the cost of childcare when she returns to work and we’re pretty sure her regular-as-clockwork beauty regime hasn’t suffered too much.
But it’s clear she is a doting mum and it can’t have been easy going through the very newborn stage while her partner, Tommy Fury, prepared for his long anticipated grudge match with American media personality Jake Paul.
And if we’re being really real, even after decades of moves towards equality for women, the lion’s share of parenting tends to fall with the mum.
For example, when the household is knocked sideways by a vomiting bug, who is it who keeps the show on the road while also being sick as a dog?
Who is the parent who, more often than not, makes sure homeworks are done and checked, that gifts for parties are bought, that afterschool schedules are followed with military precision?
Who makes sure there are adequate uniforms ready for the week ahead and packed lunches are sitting ready to go in the morning?
Being a mum is so much more than cute little outfits, changing nappies and going for walks in the park, as Molly-Mae is finding out.
That’s why we weren’t surprised to see a recent post on Mumsnet with a mum asking for reassurance for taking a sneaky day off to herself to recharge her batteries.
“I have booked a day off work today,” she said.
“I haven’t told anyone but I am suddenly feeling very guilty about it.
“I just want a me day today, a day when I will do nothing but listen to music and snooze with the dog.
“But I can’t stop this nagging, guilty feeling.”
Expanding further, she explained that her own mum has Alzheimer’s so she helps her dad with caring responsibilities five days a week.
At the same time, she appears to receive little support from her husband and she has also had a tough time supporting her eldest son with mental ill health.
It’s little wonder she is suffering from her own health problems, all at the same time as going through the rigours of perimenopause.
It’s also little wonder that she received overwhelming support for her decision to keep her day off work to herself and spend some time at home alone.
One poster said: “Yes, you are working today. On yourself. Your annual leave days are yours to take for whatever you want. Enjoy and go back to bed.”
Another said: “You are working. You’re working on your own self-care. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Enjoy your day.”
What this post does highlight is that when it comes to self-care, us mums are pretty rubbish at it.
Yes, we will support other mums when they take some time out, but we don’t go so easy on ourselves when we dare to prioritise our mental and physical health.
But as it was so aptly put in response to the original post, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
Becoming a mum is a bloody steep learning curve but one of the biggest lessons we all need to learn is to remember that sometimes we need to stop and put ourselves first.
After all, self-care shouldn’t be five minutes locked in the bathroom scrolling through your phone or leaving the kids at home while you do the big weekly shop.
Nor should it be snatching a few moments crouched down, hiding behind a chair, while gobbling some chocolate in secret so it doesn’t have to be shared.
Yes, we’ve been there too!
How many of us have found ourselves screaming inwardly in the face of homework refusals, apparent selective hearing when it’s time to get coats and shoes on, or the sudden and life-threatening thirst that rears its head at bedtime?
Being a mum is glorious – we love those little darlings more than life, more than ourselves, but that also means it can be a relentless and thankless job.
That’s why we say self-care shouldn’t be a dirty, little secret.
The thing is, if we don’t look after ourselves, looking after everyone else becomes infinitely more difficult.
So, book that day off work, drop the kids to school, fill the house with chocolate and settle down in your PJs in front of Netflix, or better still, get a friend to take the day off as well and spend time together the way you did before babies came on the scene!
Ah go on…you know you want to!