A Lifetime of Kindness
Having devoted more than 100 years of combined service to charities, community organisations and good causes, Stranocum’s Pat Crossley continues to inspire others with her energy and commitment to helping those around her.
At a sprightly 84 years old, North Antrim woman Pat Crossley has managed to rack up an incredible century of voluntary service to her community.
Though this remarkable Stranocum grandmother insists there are no more hours in her day than anyone else’s. It’s simply what she chooses to do with them.
Having recently celebrated 60 years of service to the RNLI and 40 years with the MS Society, Pat’s century of volunteering does not even include her four decades as a school governor or her lengthy service as Show Secretary of the NI Alpine Society.
Then there are the 50-plus years she has spent as a church elder, her decades at the helm of the Belfast Royal Academy Old Girls’ Association and more than 20 years of involvement with both the Causeway Peace Group and the European Peace Board.
As you explore the secret behind Pat’s selfless commitment to service, one word appears again and again: gratitude.
“I’m just so grateful to still be able to do it,” says Pat. “Grateful for my energy, my enthusiasm, my positivity and my good health.
“People remind me about things I’ve done that even I’ve forgotten, though of course I’ve had setbacks too, like everyone else.
“My brain certainly doesn’t feel 84, although my body may be finding it a little harder to keep up since a bad fall in the garden a few years ago.
“I know there are people half my age who aren’t able to do these things, but I just want to carry on for as long as I can.”
Pat traces her positive outlook back to her childhood.
“My parents believed that service was the rent we pay for our space on earth, and I remember learning that very early.”
There was, however, one defining event that helped shape her determination to help others.
In January 1953, the Princess Victoria ferry sank off the coast of Donaghadee during a severe storm, claiming 135 lives.
“We always holidayed in Donaghadee, so it was a special place for us. We went down the day after, hoping to see survivors. I was only 10 at the time, but the scale of the loss made such an impression on me,” recalls Pat.
“I remember telling my family that when I grew up I wanted to do something to help the lifeboats, and a few years later I started volunteering.
“Seeing such tragedy made me want to be kind, and I hope I’ve carried that with me throughout my life.”
Pat smiles as she remembers her late husband Norman’s own reminder of that philosophy.
“He planted me a little trough of saxifrage that spelled out ‘Be Kind, Be Kind, Be Kind’. I think that’s always helped sustain me.”
Norman passed away 22 years ago following a five-year battle with cancer.
Together, they had been involved with what was then known as the NI Council for Orthopaedic Development, which later became the Cedar Foundation.
After moving from Lisburn to the North Coast, Pat was approached by the Ballymoney branch of the MS Society, keen to draw on her proven fundraising skills.
“Since then, the Society has become a way of life for me. It’s like a family,” she says.
Over the years, Pat has held numerous positions, serving twice on the Northern Ireland MS Council and also as a trustee of the UK national board.
Recently, she was honoured with an Impact Award at Stormont as part of celebrations marking the MS Society’s 70th anniversary in Northern Ireland.
“I was shocked,” she admits.
Pat was also invited to be one of just three speakers at a national MS event in London.
“There are more than 3,000 volunteers across the UK, so to be chosen to speak was a great honour, both for me and for all the volunteers in Northern Ireland.
“But while events like that are a chance to celebrate progress, they’re also an opportunity to recommit to the work.”
She has witnessed enormous advances in the treatment and understanding of multiple sclerosis during her 40 years with the charity.
“Important research is happening right now at Queen’s University.
“Many people with MS are now able to live full and active lives, but ultimately we’re working towards a future free from MS altogether.”
Pat’s fundraising efforts have often involved stepping well outside her comfort zone.
She completed a skydive at the age of 68 and even abseiled down Belfast Castle.
“I’d do the skydive again tomorrow,” she laughs, “although my insurers probably wouldn’t agree.
“But I wouldn’t attempt the abseil again. The gargoyles sticking out from the castle made it very challenging.”
Pat has never been one to shy away from a challenge, although she acknowledges that fundraising has become increasingly difficult.
“Over my lifetime, the charity sector has changed enormously.
“It’s harder to get volunteers, and young people simply don’t have the same amount of free time. I see it first-hand with my daughter Adrienne, who works full-time and is also mum to my grandchildren Niamh, 16, and Karl, 14.
“It’s not that people are less caring. Life is simply busier than it used to be.
“Young people are often more generous with money than with time, but many charity committees are ageing, and it can be difficult to keep the momentum going.”
Throughout life’s challenges, Pat says her faith has remained a constant source of strength.
After losing Norman, she found happiness again when she married widowed minister Rev Gordon Gray. Sadly, he too died suddenly.
“But I was grateful for that wonderful gift in my later years, to have had a second chance at happiness,” she reflects.
Looking back on a lifetime of service, Pat remains humble about all she has achieved.
“It has been a great privilege to do what I have done in life, though it may not be everybody’s thing.
“I don’t know that there’s any secret to my life except gratitude for what I’ve been given.
“I just try to focus on being kind.”
