35 Things I’ve Learned at 35

Turning 35 has Jordan Arnold in a reflective mood. The Q Radio broadcaster shares 35 things she’s learned so far, from backing yourself to protecting your peace.

It’s my birthday month and I’m turning 35, which is mad, because I could swear I was in Upper Sixth no more than 2 years ago!

I absolutely do not have everything figured out, but I do feel like I’ve gathered a decent amount of perspective over the years.

So, in honour of the occasion, here are 35 things I’ve learned at 35:

1. No one actually knows what they’re doing. Some people are better at presenting certainty, but most of us are faking it till we make it.
2. Confidence is usually built, not born. If you wait until you feel ready, you’d never do anything.
3. The right people won’t make you feel like you’re too much. If you constantly feel the need to shrink yourself, you’re in the wrong room.
4. Trust a gut feeling. It’s rarely random, rather likely picking up on something your brain hasn’t processed.
5. Hangovers are getting worse with age. They now require planning, hydration, and sometimes a full day off.
6. You don’t have to engage in every disagreement. Protecting your peace is often more valuable than proving your point, even in contrarian comment sections.
7. Being respected lasts longer than being liked. Approval can be fleeting, but respect comes from consistency.
8. If something consistently drains you, it’s not worth the cost. Time, energy, and peace are all currencies you must protect.
9. You don’t owe everyone instant access to you. Taking time to respond, or not responding at all, is sometimes necessary.
10. Reinvention is always an option. You’re allowed to change direction and become a different version of yourself.
11. Some friendships have a shelf life. Not everyone will support you in every season of your life – it can be sad but it’s OK.
12. Small habits matter more than big intentions. The things you do consistently shape your life more than the things you plan to do.
13. Closure doesn’t always come from other people. Often, it’s something you have to grant yourself.
14. Most worries don’t materialise. And when something does go wrong, you’re usually capable of handling it.
15. Music can shift your entire mood. A sassy playlist can genuinely change your day.
16. Saying ‘no’ is an essential skill. The more you use it, the easier it becomes.
17. Comparison takes the enjoyment out of everything. Focusing on your own pace is vital for contentment.
18. Finding a form of exercise you enjoy is life-changing. Working out for pleasure, not punishment, is a revelation.
19. Love with the right person is easy. If it’s feisty and fiery or leaves you confused, they’re not your person.
20. Rest is necessary, not a luxury. You can’t constantly run on empty.
21. You have to back yourself. It helps you rely less on external validation.
22. Social media isn’t reality. It’s curated and selective – remember that.
23. Hindsight is 20/20. Don’t beat yourself up for not seeing something at the time that’s now clear.
24. Not all opinions deserve equal weight. If you wouldn’t seek someone’s advice, their criticism shouldn’t carry much influence.
25. Comfort matters. Whether it’s clothes, routines, or environments, comfort makes a difference.
26. Celebrating small wins is important. You don’t need a major milestone to acknowledge progress.
27. Being busy isn’t the same as being fulfilled. Ensure your time is actually being spent meaningfully.
28. The best moments are often unplanned. Some of the most memorable experiences happen without overthinking.
29. No one’s thinking about you as much as you think. Holding yourself back from doing what you want for fear of judgement only hurts you in the long run.
30. Starting again isn’t failure. It’s the clearest sign that you’re paying attention to what you actually want.
31. Gratitude and ambition can coexist. You can appreciate what you have while still wanting more.
32. Nothing on earth beats the ‘little things’. Cuddles with your dog, dinner with your person, belly laughs – that’s life at its peak.
33. Your nice things are there to be enjoyed. Spray the good perfume, light the expensive candle, and drink the good wine. What are you saving it for?
34. Put your clothes away as you take them off. Laundry piling up and a sprawling floor-drobe clutters your space and your peace.
35. Getting older is a privilege. Even if I occasionally complain about it, it’s something not everyone gets.

The main thing I’ve learned is there’s always more to learn. For now, I hope I can keep a grasp on what really matters, let go of what doesn’t, and trust that I’ll handle whatever comes next.

And if nothing else, birthdays are a great reason to celebrate – hopefully without a two-day hangover.